Study Moustache

Hello fellow peers! Today I write to you with a handy study tip I learned whilst talking with the great Tom Macdonald last friday. And that is to grow a Study moustache!

Yes you may be thinking some of the following: Why do I need a moustache? I'm a girl? My brother got 98 and all he had were sideburns and a goatee?

Well...Tom's growth plan for the study mo is this:

1. When he starts to revise for a big SAC, he stops shaving.
2. The moustache symbolises wisdom and power, especially when stroked.
3. After completing the SAC, Tom shaves it off
4. He repeats steps 1-3 Until he Ranks #1 in every class at the end of the year
5. For the exam, he grows a "Santa Claus", or an "Osama Bin Laden" - This symbolises Joy and terror respectively.

Well despite liking this idea, I cannot participate, as my facial hair growing abilities are running five years late, however I will address some frequently asked questions regarding this issue.

Q: I am a female and would love to participate. may I?
A: Short answer no. If you are a female, you may not grow a moustache. Female moustaches are only to be grown if the woman is of Mexican descent.

Q: Are moustaches good for Other things? or only SACS?
A: Moustaches can be used for many abilities. Memory expansion, food storage are common. If you are interested in the Arico Mo in order to give out detentions, you must first complete 3 years of training in Russia.

Q: I work in the canteen. Due to health and safety I'm not allowed?
A: I'm afraid not, since Mr. Bennet and his Moustache left, Moustache rights have unfortunately gone down. There is nothing we can do currently, until Ms. Bell grows one. Stay updated!

So my advice to you, peers: If you want to do well in SACs, and not have Ms Wilson yelling at you every day, saying how her kids will smash you in VCE, do as Tom did, and grow a study Mo!

Till next week,
Sam