The Chronicles of Wantirna XVII: The passing of Unit 3

Hello College Chums!

Tonight's addition to the blog comes on the last week of term 2! What a term it's been! Sometimes, it is very rewarding to look back on all the events that have passed over a period of time. Since the beginning of term, let's take a look at what has happened within our college, and also throughout the world:

1.  Osama Bin Laden was killed. The world's most wanted man is now a Mexican (that is interesting, because Mr Moschetti's gone on long-service leave....)
2. Ms Bell announced the construction of a variety of new buildings such as cafeterias, theatres and music centres. The current existing ones will likely be replaced with more downball courts...
3. Tom Macdonald shaved his study moustache before exams began. A controversial choice!
4. Current construction at Wantirna has pretty much gone nowhere (as usual of course!)
5. Mr. Beavis has been spotted wearing casual-dress more frequently during the last term.

As you can see, the last term has been a busy one for Wantirna College, unlike the state of Tasmania...

News in Tasmania:

1. A man may have possibly discovered electricity, but then forgot when he sobered up.

 What a term we've all been through, and there's no better way to end it, than with a fancy little party!

Yes, it seems the social comittee have actually spawned something other than demons, pain and horrific arguments. They have managed to work together (after voting out all males) to make formal go ahead, which is brilliant! This night of celebration will be held tomorrow, after school (which of course nobody will attend, due to wagging at knox, or perhaps going to a hair appointment). I am looking forward to the night, as it is a chance to dress like private school students. Despite my admiration of looking like a private school chap, I have decided to go with a more "Wantirna" style suit!

Suit plan - "The Mr. Cameron"

Since the holidays are upon us next week, I will be taking leave for the next two weeks, mostly so I can venture to Ozmosis every day once again, to improve my relationships with the female shop assistants.

Enjoy the holidays peers!

Sam

Civil War

Hello Wantirna Watchers! Welcome to this week's blog!

Now, alot of people despised the GAT last week. I enjoyed it. I mean, the content is completely irrelevent to anything in my life, but then again so was sitting in Mr Anderson's Physics class last year. The GAT allows you to write imaginitive stories, question whether brown rabbits have floppy or straight ears, and to top it all off, it's all multiple choice! Yet people still seem to hate it - it baffles me almost as much as year 8 girls who tie rubber bands in their shirts! or people who wear backwards hats to parties...

But enough of that for now. Today I tried studying in the library for the first time. I entered the facility looking for a safe haven so I could study without being distracted by mishaps. "Surely the library is a nice, quiet place to study!?" Turns out I was wrong...

The school library, peers, is the scene of a nasty Wantirna College civil war! The Year 9 students are at one side of the disagreement, and apposing them, a band of librarians! The year 9 students were on youtube today, watching videos of people stealing bikes. All of a sudden, a loud "LOG OFF THE GAMES!!" filled the room. Within seconds, three other librarians sprung out of nowhere! The year 9's were startled. Fear filled their faces as all four librarians then demanded to see the poor students' planners! Consequently, the librarians apprehended them.

It made me wonder: who are these librarians? and what is their obsession with signed planners? I did realise though that planners do make an exceptional decoy to lure the librarians out of college grounds...

Upon speaking with fellow peers, it seems the librarians have not only been targeting year 9 students, but all students. So what is it that librarians aim for? Now it's no secret that like China, Wantirna College is built on communist foundations (I'm surprised the IT crew haven't censored this site, or sent me to a factory for that matter). But what are they hiding? These are my suspicions:

1. The librarians suffer from a rare disease that prevents them from reading books unless they maintain a daily exposure to signed planners.
2. At the direction of Mr Pearson, they are real-life servants of "The matrix".

3. They are the ringleaders of a student crime syndicate, issuing operations such as toilet graffiting, chewing gum dealing and the notorious "punch-on hoaxes"...

Whatever the case, today has proven to me that the Wantirna College library is a hostile ground. If you ever get the chance, use the senior centre to study. Sure, the library has books, but amongst Wantirna's own civil war, it is impossible to work in there...

Would YOU study in Libya?

Until next week Comrades,

Sam

No Video Blog?

Good evening, peers!

"Is the title of this blog right? Is there no video blog this week? Now how will I procrastinate studying for my English SAC!?"

Unfortunately friends, this is true. I have been decieving you the last few weeks. Two weeks ago I vowed to produce the first ever Wantirna College Video Blog, but due do the poor weather and a ridiculous other issue (We seem to have so many!), I have been prevented from filming. You may notice I am not using the internet abbreviation, "vlog" to describe the video. I have purposely avoided this, as this blog is not called "Adventures of a 30-year old Canadian World of Warcraft fan".

"Hockey, Snow, Vlog, Justin Bieber, Hockey, Mr Hookgamer, Vlog"

The main reason I could not film the video log was because of a terrible assault I was victim of recently. This assault came in the form of a six-page question sheet dealt to me by Mr. Lewis and Mrs. Cleven in Maths Methods. Now, this maths SAC was unlike any other I have done, because there were more letters than numbers! Is this really what year 12 maths has come to? It was like painfully reading through the latest twilight novel, only to realise at the end you had to divide the first half of the book by the second! Or perhaps like getting a Costco membership only to find that all they sold was bedpans...

It was definately a cunning move by the methods teachers. Even with literature as a subject I wasn't able to square root any of the paragraphs, which has brought about this downfall I am facing. To make it easier to understand the horrors of this SAC, I have taken the time to write a quick analogy:

Maths Methods SAC 2 was like:

1. Buying a Camel
2. Putting it into a Mulcher
3. Leaving the Mulch in the D-Block toilets for two months
4. Eating the Mulch

While I realised after I wrote this that the canteen probably already uses this method of food preparation, hopefully it still does the job explaining this pain. All I can say is I hope next week's environmental Science exam is actually about the environment...

Good luck for mid year exams next week, peers! If the VCAA doesn't play lucky dip with the content of next week's exam, Wantirna's video blog will be released!

Sam

Sick Day

Hello Students, friends, Tasmanians!

Well first and foremost, I'd like to say welcome to this Wednesday's blog about the brilliant events and unfortunate Shenanigans that occasionally happen at Wantirna College.

This week I told some of my fellow peers that this week's entry was to be a video blog. However, due to my inability to film things, and recent controversy and threats over last week's blog ("No Mr Churchward! Not Guantanamo!"), the first "Adventures of a Wantirna College student Vlog" will be released next week! This means today we will be discussing a different issue.

Today I was sick - I didn't go to school. Instead I spent the day at home sleeping and doing productive things. All-in-all it was probably a good move, as the chances I had no classes due to absent teachers was almost certain. As many of you have already noticed, the number of teacher absenses this week has skyrocketed! I have even heard reports that not only have the "every fortnight" teachers been away, but also the teachers of Steel have taken personal leave (notably, it was Mr. Beavis' first absense ever the other day! Congratulations!) Well sure, it's becoming winter and people tend to get things. But this many teachers?

That very thought made me wonder. Where are these teachers going? Are they in hiding from the Taliban after hearing about the recent deaths of Australians? Perhaps a vile of smallpox was mistakenly placed into a staffroom kettle? Or maybe some just woke up feeling slightly abnormal and thought it would be enough to get a doctor's certificate...

It seems as well that whenever teachers are absent from school, it's always the wrong ones. If Mr. Moschetti was away, there would be a feast bigger than Christmas that would happen in the senior centre! But as he is not a regular, that thought remains but a dream...

At this rate, school administration should probably change the absence list to an absence novel (and while they're at it, list it as a English text) if this is going to be the case all Winter!

Well let's just hope teachers can get that third arm amputated before mid-year exams!

Sam

Mandatory Disclaimer: These views are not endorsed by students of the College. Teachers have the right to take Personal leave when necessary under the Teacher's Union Act. Wantirna College does not manage this site, nor does it endorse this innacurate representation of its teachers, students and College events.